confession Part 1

i really know. we never going anywhere but stay.
but i just cant do anything. i told everyone i'll give him a chance.
like my mom says "Sayang aja g cukup" which i really understande the meaning.
maybe i'm afraid to hurt his heart, or ruin what we have now. but i swear i cant love him back they way he love me.
but i swear i always try.
i miss the time when i can laugh out loud with my starlite, but we cant be together now. Mungkin gw tidak bersyukur, sudah dicintai sebegitu besar tapi masih banyak menuntut, well salahkah?
sometimes i feel really tired to try,but i have to right?
ntah lah banyak ketakutan, takut dy begini dan begitu. but someone said "klo kamu udah bisa melogikakan perasaan it wont work out"semoga tidak.
susah banget untuk tetap bertahan, entah sampai kapan gw mampu untuk terus begini. Kadang banyak banget omongan gw tanpa sensor, gw sih pengen dy jadi kayak yang gw mau.But i cant rite.apakah itu termasuk melogikakan perasaan.
huh...i dont know.just enjoy the show.

In The Need of Direction

in our life we wil meet a turn point where we have choose where to go.Maybe its my turn.But Honestly speaking i dont know. maybe 've felt comfortable in this place,where i belong,where i stay. but world keeps turn around. We have to move on, that's something i couldnt do.
i need a very good reason to make a great decision, with or without.
which one, where i will be, and how i can be.
maybe i just need more time, or just need more logical analysist to understand the situation.
i want to move but i cant. i want to run but he make me stay.
i like to be loved, but its important to love them back.
am i selfish?
i cant find the answer then.
lets time make it for me...and we'll see what happened next.